Everything was perfect before you were born. Why did they think they needed you? Wasn’t I enough for them? I am so afraid. I can see the way they hold you and the way their faces look at you, together. I know they feel complete and more in love now that they have a child made from both of them. Dad has never looked at me the way he looks at you. Mom has always loved me more but you take away so much of her attention. I wish sometimes that you would just die or that you were never born. I hate feeling left alone, and I hate feeling responsible for you! What is so great about you anyway? I sit here on our porch watching you in your playpen. You look like a helpless and pink piggy with a diaper. Why do I have to watch you? This feels like punishment!
Here. Why don’t you eat this?! “It’s chocolate” I say out loud. “Uh Oh! What is happening? What are you doing? What have I done?
Come on I was only kidding! Please just swallow it!”
She’s turning red. I don’t think she’s breathing!
I hit her on her back as hard as I can over, and over! For once I feel relief when I hear your screams and cries.
I still hate you, and I still wish you would die!
Your secret will forever be safe with me ❤
*Note: I worte this in response to a blog post that I could not comment on (??) Anywho, here is the link and the reason I wrote this: