Falling Upstairs

Today was my first day back to work after being out sick for over week, and during my 45-minute commute from Surprise to Glendale I kept wondering why I felt inebriated.  Quick head movements and lane changes made me dizzy, and the rising sun was blinding me!  I kept a cautious 3 car length at all times.  But what I am feeling is a residual hangover from boarder line overdosing on dextromethorphan every night for the past week.  This was the sickest that I can ever remember being.  Maybe it’s just my age?  Maybe it’s the depression?  Maybe it’s another side effect from the augmentin?!

Once I got to the office I dove right back into my work.  I had mapped out how I would need to spend my first two hours of my day the night before while skimming through my email.  I was already back into the groove.  I managed to keep this steady work pace until I had to physically leave my desk.  I walked down two flights of stairs to the testing center where I had to retrieve some exams, and on the way back up I fell.  I literally fell UP the stairwell.  My feet failed me.  I was attempting to operate at a speed that my body would not allow.  My toes lagging behind caused me to miss the next step.  My bare skinned shins were the first to make contact with what I can only describe as the asphalt material covering the surface of the steps.  In slow motion I turned my body to the left in an effort to prevent my face from hitting next.  I landed on both elbows and then doused myself in a hot cup of lemon echinacea tea.

Gasps followed, and then a stranger calls out from the first floor “Are you okay?  Do you need help?”  Embarrassment had overwhelmed all of my senses, and I was literally frozen.  I reached for my cup of tea and I collected myself, but I could only muster this response “I am sorry!” while covering my face I escaped back to my office.  When I arrived I realized I had been holding my breathe so I finally let it all out, and then I began to cry, but I don’t know what I was crying for.  Was it the realization that my physical body may not always be capable of the things that I did yesterday?  Or maybe it was that I cannot even take the smallest offers of help?


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