Today was my first day back to work after being out sick for over week, and during my 45-minute commute from Surprise to Glendale I kept wondering why I felt inebriated. Quick head movements and lane changes made me dizzy, and the rising sun was blinding me! I kept a cautious 3 car length at all times. But what I am feeling is a residual hangover from boarder line overdosing on dextromethorphan every night for the past week. This was the sickest that I can ever remember being. Maybe it’s just my age? Maybe it’s the depression? Maybe it’s another side effect from the augmentin?!
Once I got to the office I dove right back into my work. I had mapped out how I would need to spend my first two hours of my day the night before while skimming through my email. I was already back into the groove. I managed to keep this steady work pace until I had to physically leave my desk. I walked down two flights of stairs to the testing center where I had to retrieve some exams, and on the way back up I fell. I literally fell UP the stairwell. My feet failed me. I was attempting to operate at a speed that my body would not allow. My toes lagging behind caused me to miss the next step. My bare skinned shins were the first to make contact with what I can only describe as the asphalt material covering the surface of the steps. In slow motion I turned my body to the left in an effort to prevent my face from hitting next. I landed on both elbows and then doused myself in a hot cup of lemon echinacea tea.
Gasps followed, and then a stranger calls out from the first floor “Are you okay? Do you need help?” Embarrassment had overwhelmed all of my senses, and I was literally frozen. I reached for my cup of tea and I collected myself, but I could only muster this response “I am sorry!” while covering my face I escaped back to my office. When I arrived I realized I had been holding my breathe so I finally let it all out, and then I began to cry, but I don’t know what I was crying for. Was it the realization that my physical body may not always be capable of the things that I did yesterday? Or maybe it was that I cannot even take the smallest offers of help?